How Not to Write an Email Pitching Your Services

The other day, I was checking the email I set up for this website. And I found a clear example of how not to write an email pitch.

Unfortunately, this wasn’t the only email I’ve received of its kind. If you want to get clients, cold emails can work, but you have to know what to do.

To get you started, here’s what NOT to do.

And before we get into it, this post contains affiliate links. Read my full disclosure policy to learn more.

Don’t Address Them by Name

I hope this is obvious, but clearly it’s not since I’ve gotten multiple emails like this. If you want to send an email pitching yourself, PLEASE address the person by name.

It shows you took the time to figure out who you’re contacting and that you care. Addressing someone by name also shows you aren’t just sending the same mass email over and over.

What floors me whenever I get these generic pitch emails is that my name is literally in my website domain AND my email. It’s not that hard to figure out and add it to an email.

Don’t Do Your Research

In this particular email, the sender started off by saying my website doesn’t rank on Google. That’s just plain false because I get thousands of page views per month from search engines.

I’m not trying to brag; I’m just saying they lied in their email. And they thought I would just believe them and wonder where I get my traffic?

Now, I kind of get it. When you’re selling SEO services, you want to show your potential clients why they need your help. But I don’t need help with that. I’m doing just fine.

Include Spelling and Grammatical Errors

Of course, we all have off days, and we can misspell something or make a grammar error. But this short, four-sentence email had multiple errors in it.

Again, like with researching who you’re emailing, you need to take the time to proofread your email. For one, errors look like you don’t care and that you rushed everything.

But I also have a pretty good scam radar, and it’s often a sign of a scam. Not always, of course, especially when there are no other problems with the email. Still, it sets off alarm bells for me.

Offer a Vague Service

Another thing you don’t want to do when you write an email pitch is to be vague. If you want to get a response, you need to personalize the email.

I’m not just talking about addressing the person by name (but that’s important). I’m talking about researching the person you want to work with and learning about them and their business.

That way, you can tell them why they should want to work with you. Maybe you specialize in helping businesses in a certain industry. Let that be known.

If you’re vague, you’re probably not going to get a response.

Use a Template

A great way to be vague (and make sure you never get a response) is to use an email template. Send the same exact thing to hundreds or thousands of businesses.

Copy and paste that same email to every email address you can get your hands on.

But really, don’t do that. Sure, you can have the same talking points when you write an email pitch, and that can save you time.

However, you need to spend a bit of time tailoring each email to the individual.

My Spicy Response

Because I felt a little spicy when I checked my email, I drafted a response to one of these vague pitches. I don’t know if I’ll send it, but I thought it’d be good to share.

Hopefully, this gives you an idea as to how someone might feel when they get a poor-quality pitch in their email inbox.

“Hey,

Your first sentence is literally false because I rank on the first page of Google for multiple keywords. In fact, my website ranks first for some keywords.

How did you find my website? On Google? Yeah, I thought so.

Also, if you’re trying to get SEO clients, maybe you should do some research as to who actually owns the website and use their name. My name is in not only the domain of the website but also the email you contacted.

You couldn’t take two seconds to add my name to your email? Why should I trust you to take the time and do good SEO optimization for my website if you can’t do something so simple?

There’s also multiple grammatical errors in your email. Who’s to say you won’t make similar errors on my website? I need to look professional.

And speaking of doing your research, if you read my about page, you’d very clearly see I’ve done SEO for others. Ergo, why would I need your services?

I’m perfectly confident doing it myself, and I’ve managed to get thousands of monthly page views and hundreds of thousands of impressions on Google.

You also didn’t share any details as to why you want to work with me or why I’d want to work with you. Now that you know I know my SEO stuff, what do you bring to the table?

Thanks but no thanks,

Hannah”

Learn How to Actually Write an Email Pitch

If you want to write an email pitch that will get a response, you now know what not to do. But you should still hone your pitch-writing craft.

I learned everything I know about pitching through Create Your Career. In the membership, Nicole Riccardo offers you all of the strategies you’ll need to make your own opportunities.

And if you mention my name (and show me a screenshot saying so), I’ll send you an exclusive music business guide I’ve never released!